


Florescent Gaze

by 102Ken3



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, College, F/F, Haikyuu - Freeform, Hinata Shouyou & Yachi Hitoka Friendship, Kiyoko Shimizu - Freeform, Slow Build, Slow Burn, haikyuu!! - Freeform, slowburn, slowburn yachixkiyoko, wlw, yachi hitoka - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-21 14:07:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30022932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/102Ken3/pseuds/102Ken3
Summary: The blue florescent lights of the convenience store signs illuminated the outline of the older girl, creating a ring of blue around her like an angel. Yachi could only suck in a breath. This was the moment, it had finally come.
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Shimizu Kiyoko/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Shimizu Kiyoko/Yachi Hitoka, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Kudos: 9





	1. Four Pints

Yachi stared at her faint reflection in the glass of the freezer door, bags under her eyes. She didn’t know exactly what she was staring at, her mind wandering elsewhere, anywhere but what tomorrow brought. She wore sweats and a hoodie, still shivering from the cold fall night. The old dirty linoleum floors just seemed to add to the cold and the harsh artificial lights above brought no warmth. It wasn’t until Hinata spoke up that Yachi snapped out of her trans. 

“Chocolate or strawberry?” Hinata questioned, standing next to the short blonde and tapping a finger to his lips. He studied the shelves of ice cream stocked behind the glass that Yachi was staring at. 

“Better get both just to be safe.” Yachi told him, a smile growing on her lips. 

She had been dragged out that night by Hinata. He’d forced her out of her dorm and away from her books and notecards out into the night for a snack run. Hinata usually did this, and it comforted Yachi in a way. She knew he was trying to keep her from stressing too much, one thing she seemed to always excel at. And the late night adventures were always fun with Hinata around to keep the energy. He’d even do it for their other friends, sometimes even getting Tsukishima to look away from his notes the night before an exam. 

“Your right!” Hinata exclaimed. The ginger tore open the freezer door, nearly hitting Yachi if she hadn’t moved,” This is why we're friends,” He told her, his voice muffled by the hum of the freezer as he reached in to grab the pints of ice cream. 

Hinata grabbed two of each chocolate and vanilla, piling it up in his arms. He turned to Yachi and let the freezer door slam shut, a wide grin on his face. Yachi’s stomach seemed to settle the longer she looked at her friend, trying to assure herself everything would be fine. It was just a stupid speech class with a stupid assignment to make a speech about a defining moment in your life. Easy-peasy. She’d already written the essay and even Tsukishima gave it a quiet nod of approval upon proof reading it. She was set. But then her heart stopped every time she thought about standing up in front of her whole class, seeing all their eyes on her. Public speaking was not in Yachi’s comfort zone, it never had been. 

“Hey, you're gonna do great tomorrow,” Hinata said, most likely watching Yachi’s frown reappear.

“You really think so?” Yachi questioned, her eyes falling down to the cheap shiny linoleum. 

“Your speech is amazing, it’s from the heart. And you're pretty awesome already so it has to be awesome!” Hinata exclaimed, jumping up and down in excitement. 

Yachi caught a pint of ice cream that fell from Hinata’s arms with a smile,” Thanks Hinata, I needed this.”

“Anytime,” Hinata murmured,” besides Mr.King was grumpy tonight cause I forgot to do the dishes this morning. So anything to get out of another lecture.” He said as he started to walk down the snack aisle. 

“Like he’s any better.” Yachi sighed, following Hinata and studying the different packages filled with treats. 

“I know right? The only thing he can even cook is instant ramen!”

“You can’t cook either. I don’t know what you two were thinking was gonna happen when you moved in together.” Yachi teased, grabbing a bag of chips off the shelf. 

“We didn’t think that far ahead,” Hinata huffed, grimacing at the Cheetos in front of him. Yachi watched though as his expression softened,” But I’m glad we both finally decided on a place. I like living with him and I think we’ve gotten to know each other even better.”

The only thing Yachi could do was smile. Seeing Hinata be so happy made her happy. She liked Kageyama too, him and Hinata were a good match even if they were overly competitive. At everything. Still, she couldn’t help but feel slightly jealous. It only took a few months into their freshman year of college for Kageyama and Hinata to start dating. And Yachi hadn’t even really dated anyone. She didn’t count the two boyfriends she tried having back in high school. They ended up breaking up in less than a month anyways but it helped her realize that boys weren’t for her. So in a way she secretly thanked the two oblivious guys. 

“Anyways, you ready?” Hinata asked, looking over at his short blonde friend. Yachi nodded and the two made their way up to the counter. 

Ukai sat at the counter at usual, a burning cigarette in his mouth and a magazine out in front of him. He glanced up as the two students made their way towards him. A faint smile appeared and then disappeared on his lips as he sat up. He ran a hand through his bleached hair and readjusted his headband, puffing out grey smoke into the air. Yachi hated the smell of cigarettes but Ukai’s store was very convenient and very close to the dorms. And by now he was used to seeing Yachi and Hinata make their way in sometime past ten o’clock.

“Sup kiddos,” Ukai greeted, tapping his cigarette against his tray off to the side of the old white counter. 

“Just the ice cream and chips please.” Hinata told him, setting the food on the counter. Yachi set the one pint she held and the chips in front of Ukai and let her eyes wander.  
She noticed how Ukai had a tendency to make eye contact easily and his looks didn’t always come off as warm or welcoming. Yachi understood it wasn’t on purpose but she could hardly stand to look strangers in the eye for too long before combusting. The whole thing seemed to violating, like they could see right through her. Like they knew what a weirdo and fraud she was. It even took her forever just to look Tsukishima and Kageyama in the eyes. 

“Any big exams coming up?” Ukai asked, starting to scan the items

“Yachi’s got a speech in one of her classes tomorrow.” Hinata explained, taking out his wallet. 

“Oh?” Ukai hummed, looking up at the two,” What about?”

“Um-Some life changing event that shaped our lives.” Yachi murmured, avoiding Ukai’s curious gaze. 

“I’m sure you’ll do great, just be confident.” Ukai assured her. Yachi nodded with a smile, finding the courage to meet the man’s dark eyes. Ukai bagged their food and handed it to Hinata in exchange for the money. Ukai handed Hinata his change back and closed the register with a loud click and ring. 

“Thanks!” Hinata told Ukai as him and Yachi made their way towards the door.

“Have a good night!” Ukai called back, turning back to his magazine as Hinata opened the door.

Yachi followed the ginger boy out into the cold fall air, taking in a breath of fresh air, letting the scent of cigarettes waft away and stay inside the small convenience store. She stopped at the sight of someone walking towards the door from the left. Yachi held the door open for the stranger, looking him up and down. He looked around her age and plenty of inches taller than her. He wore a leather jacket, jeans and a beanie on top of his head. He gave Yachi a kind smile, thanking her as he made his way inside. 

“Tanaka, where have you been?!” Yachi heard Ukai exclaim before she let the door swing closed behind her. 

She had never seen the guy before yet her skin crawled when she looked at him. Then again, she was almost always uncomfortable with strange men. Who wouldn’t be with her short stature and lack of fighting skills. Yachi shook the feeling off as she followed Hinita down the sidewalk and across the parking lot of the gas station. The only cars parked outside were Ukai’s white minivan and motorcycle Yachi guessed was the Tanaka guy’s. She could see the fluorescent sign lights making her skin glow blue as she let her eyes wander down at her feet. It was a nice night.

***

Hinata flopped down on Yachi’s bed, scraping what was left out of his pint of strawberry ice cream. Yachi watched him as she sat in her desk chair, twirling back and forth and struggling to finish her first pint of ice cream. The room was dim, only lit by the fairy lights strung up behind Yachi’s bed and her desk lamp that illuminated the scattered papers of her speech. She set her ice cream down, turning to the notecards in front of her. The sinking feeling returned as it usually did.  
The defining moment Yachi had chosen had been her coming out to her mom. It wasn’t the funnest story to tell but it changed a lot in Yachi’s life. For years she had kept quiet, afraid to step on her mother’s toes, scared to upset the strange dynamic they had. It wasn’t anything big, it just slipped out one day. And Yachi’s mother left for work seconds after, never mentioning it again. And Yachi’s last year of high school passed and her mother never asked anything about dating or crushes. Yachi liking girls was just not a line her mother had crossed over to yet, always pretending like it didn’t exist. But still, in that moment Yachi had the courage to speak the truth and upset the dynamic of their small family. She regretted it at times though, wishing she wasn’t in pain every time she even thought about her mother.

“What time is it?” Hinata questioned, spiking his empty pint into the trash can next to Yachi’s desk. 

Yachi grabbed her phone off to the side of her desk and turned it on,” Almost midnight.” She told him, seeing a notification from instagram. 

“Shit!” Hinata exclaimed, standing abruptly,” Tobio’s gonna kill me!” He grabbed his jacket off the floor and pulled it on, Yachi watching him with a smile. 

“Thanks for going out tonight,” Yachi thanked him, drumming her fingers on her desk. 

“No problem. I’ll text you when I get home.” Hinata told her, heading towards the door.

“Yep.”

Hinata opened the door and stopped. He turned, looking back at Yachi with a reassuring smile. 

“You're gonna do great tomorrow.” The ginger said before stepping out and letting the door close behind him. 

“Thanks Hinata.” Yachi hummed with a sad smile.

Her eyes lingered on the door for a few seconds before turning back to her desk. Her eyes drooped and her limbs felt heavier with every passing second. She checked her instagram notification to find a new picture on Yamaguchi’s feed of him and Tsukishima watching Jurrassic Park once again. Yachi smiled at the image of the two, guessing that when Yamaguchi said they were gonna be gone that night that they would be with Tsukishima as usual. Even with seeing her friends being happy and together Yachi couldn’t help but be slightly jealous of all of them. They all had found somebody and she was all alone, stuffed with ice cream and still panicking about her assignment. It almost wasn’t fair but she couldn’t help but wonder why she hadn’t had much luck in dating.  
First off there weren’t many gay girls going into the marketing field like Yachi. And she could barely muster the courage to steal a glance at a pretty girl passing by much less talk to any. So in the end it was her own fault. But she couldn’t compete with Hinata’s abilities at making new friends and Tsukishima and Yamaguchi’s history. So the best she could do was wait for the right moment. If it ever came.


	2. Returning

Kiyoko ran down the sidewalk, her lungs burning and her legs aching. Sweat dripped down her face and off her nose, soaking into her damp t-shirt and headband. Her hair swung around in her ponytail and she had one earbud in. A Dojacat song blared through her earbud and she kept a steady pace with the beat of the song. She reached a street and looked around before crossing, making her way past an elementary school. There were only a few cars in the parking lot, still too early for students to be filing in. Kiyoko had risen with the sun that morning, a heaviness in her gut.

She wasn’t just running, but running away in a sense. Running was the only thing that allowed her thoughts to quiet and her mind to focus on her movements. It didn’t help that Tanaka had come back home with a new tan and thousands of photographs to show off. It also didn’t help that Suga and Daichi were allowing him to crash on their couch while Kiyoko had just moved in with them a few weeks ago. And along with Tanaka there were other things making Kiyoko think a lot. Her last session with her therapist didn’t bring her much comfort. 

“Aye, can I have a piece of that ass?!” A rough voice shouted towards Kiyoko. 

Her skin crawled and her heart skipped a beat as her eyes fell on a musty looking middle aged man hanging out of his car window. He drove an old beat up truck and was slowing down towards the wrong side of the road where Kiyoko was running near. She kept running, her thoughts racing. She was trying to decide her next step while also trying to decipher the man’s next step. 

“I’m talkin to you!” The man screamed. 

Luckily enough Kiyoko kept running as another car came along and honked at the man. He swore loudly and veered over onto his side of the road. His engine roared loudly and he disappeared down a hill. Kiyoko let out a sigh of relief, getting her stride back into time and letting herself relax again. All she could think though was how early it was to have someone sexually harassing her. But then again, the wicked never sleep. 

It didn’t take her long to make her way back to the apartment. She hesitated before making her way up to stairs, her footsteps echoing across the cement walls. Upon meeting the fourth floor Kiyoko made her way through the main door and into the hallway. The lights flickered above her in the drafty hall, and her sneakers ceased squeaking when hitting the old blue carpet. She took out her keys, stopping her music, and unlocked the apartment door. She was greeted by the smell of strong coffee and sausage sizzling on the stove. She slipped her shoes off and closed the door behind her, taking in the small apartment. 

She entered the open kitchen, looking out into the living room where Tanaka was tidying up his makeshift bed. Daichi was in the kitchen tending to the sausage in a t-shirt and sleep pants. Plates were lined across the counter, each one with a different kind of egg on it. And the coffee pot was set off to the side, full of a dark roast brew.

“Morning, go for a run?” Daichi greeted, giving Kiyoko a kind smile. 

“Yeah,” Kiyoko replied, grabbing the coffee pot and a mug from the cabinet,”Where’s Suga? He’s gonna be late-again.” 

"I'm ready!" Suga announced, making his way into the room from his and Daichi’s bedroom. 

He struggled to straighten his tie up as he walked over to the kitchen. Kiyoko leaned against the wall, sipping her bitter coffee as Suga poured his own cup. Daichi quickly took the sunny side up egg plate and placed two sausages on it, handing it to Suga.

"Thanks." Suga told his fiance, taking the plate and making his way over to the small dining table in the corner. 

"If you're late again the kids are gonna make fun of you." Daichi warned the silver haired man as he scarfed his breakfast down.

"They already do. I'm an old man to those kids." Suga told him.

"Your hair doesn't help." Tanaka spoke up, walking into the kitchen. 

"Least I'm not bald." Suga retorted, eating his egg in one bite.

"My head is shaved, shaved, old man!" Tanaka exclaimed, pointing a finger at Suga as he cleared his plate.

"Whatever, I gotta go. Try to do something productive for once Tanaka." Suga murmured, getting up and heading to the door," Love you sweet heart!" He called out, slipping his shoes on.

"Love you too." Daichi hummed.

"I was talking to Kiyoko." Suga teased before rushing out of the apartment.

Daichi sighed and rolled his eyes. Kiyoko watched as he distributed the cooked sausages onto the plates and went to get his own cup of coffee.

Kiyoko took her fried egg plate and sat down at the table, starting to eat. She tried to keep her eyes on her plate as Tanaka sat down next to her, eating his own meal. Daichi sat across from her, seeming oblivious to the akward tension in the air.

"So Kiyoko, how'd that appointment go yesterday?" Daichi asked.

"It went alright…" Kiyoko told him, lying.

"Appointment?" Tanaka questioned. 

"I started therapy a while back, it's going fine." Kiyoko explained, sipping her coffee.

"Oh, well that's good. I remember you saying how'd you'd wanted to see someone." Tanaka murmured, taking a bite of sausage.

It was all Kiyoko could do to nod. It was already the thirtieth time Tanaka had mentioned their past in some way. It wasn't terrible, but it made Kiyoko worry he already wanted to get back together. And she wasn't sure she wanted to continue the cycle of dating for a few weeks and him leaving on another trip only to break up again. It hurt every time.

"I think it'll help Kiyoko with her studies too, getting some experience on the other end and stuff." Daichi explained.

"Those kids are gonna eat him alive." Kiyoko interrupted, changing the subject.

"Only a student teacher and he still can’t show up on time. I think he really likes it though." Daichi mused, a smile on his face.

"So the weddings this winter, aye?" Tanaka asked.

"Yep, he insisted on a winter wedding. Something about the aesthetic and helping cure seasonal depression." Daichi laughed," if you ask me it's cause he's hoping to get everyone together during winter break."

"Asahi and Noya are coming, right?" Tanaka questioned. 

"Of course, Asahi is Daichi’s best man." Kiyoko explained. 

"And," Daichi hummed," Kiyokos Suga’s best woman."

"Best woman?" Tanaka mused, grinning.

"Since there is no bride and she's Suga’s best friend-after me of course- best woman." Daichi said.

"That's cute. Are you and Asahi gonna wear matching outfits?" Tanaka asked, an excited glimmer in his eyes.

"Matching tuxes with blue ties!" Daichi chuckled. 

"And Daichi and Suga are both wearing white suits." Kiyoko added with a smile, already imagining how the couple would look.

"Awesome." Tanaka said with a nod and a smile.

Kiyoko finished her breakfast and grabbed her and Suga’s left plate. She put the dirty dishes in the sink and excused herself to go shower, wanting to put as much space between her and Tanaka's adorable morning drowsiness. 

It wasn't long until Kiyoko was making her way up to Professor Takeda's desk at the end of class. He looked up at her through his thick glasses lenses and smiled.

"Morning Miss Kiyoko," he greeted," can I help you with anything?"

"I was wondering about my recent test grade." Kiyoko murmured, fiddling with the strap of her bag.

"Oh, of course," Takeda's expression fell," I was wondering about that myself."

"I was hoping there might be some extra credit I could do or-"

"How is everything, Kiyoko? Any sudden changes?"

"What? Well, I guess. I mean an old friend moved in with me and my friends and that's been somewhat stressful and I just started seeing this new psychiatrist the other day…"

"I understand now. You've just been stressed recently."

"Yes, so I was wondering-"

"I will give you extra credit if you start meditating at least once a day. If I see an improvement with your upcoming grades and attitude I'll award you the points." Takeda told her. 

"Meditation?" Kiyoko questioned,"Isn't there some sort of work sheet or-"

"In my class we focus on the healthy mindsets of everyday people. And you, my friend, have an unbalanced emotional level. You need to do something to bring back the calm in your life." 

"But how will you know-"

"You'll see." He told her with a nod," I like you Kiyoko and I want to see you grow in this class and into the world."

"Thank you so much Mr.Takeda. I won't let you down!" Kiyoko exclaimed before leaving the classroom. 

"I know you won't." Takeda murmured.

Kiyoko now sat in the center of her room, replaying the words Takeda told her in her head. He was right, her emotional balance had been messed up for a while. And she couldn't explain all of it. She was confused mostly by the strange feeling she was missing something about herself. Almost like she was a puzzle and couldn't find an important corner piece. 

But she closed her eyes shut as she turned on ambient music on her phone. She sat still for a few seconds, hands in her lap and her legs crossed. She tried to think of nothing but something always came to mind. Whether that be the terrible events she wished to forget or the fact that Tanaka was in the other room. She sat for a few minutes before letting out a sigh. It wasn't working.

Kiyoko got off her floor, turning the music off. She threw on a pair of Suga's sweatpants she had stolen and a sweatshirt, grabbing her wallet off her nightstand. It wasn't even seven yet and the sun was already setting outside and streaming orange into her room. Kiyoko made her way out into the living room and to the front door. 

"I'm going out, need anything?" Kiyoko asked Tanaka who sat on the couch, scrolling through his computer. 

"No I'm good, thanks." He mumbled, not even bothering to look up.

Kiyoko slipped her shoes on and walked out the door. She didn't really have a destination but she felt like eating the best convenient store ice cream around. So she headed towards Ukai’s place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to post the first few chapter within a short period of time because of how short they are. They will get longer, I promise! And I'll probably try and post once a week after the first few are done. Hope you all liked it and thanks for those of who who have already read the first chapter the first few days it came out!


	3. Defining Moment

"Yachi Hitoka?"

Yachi stood abruptly, her palms clammy and clenched at her sides. Her whole body told her to run as her heart hammered in her chest. She could feel everyone's eyes follow her as she made her way up to the front of the classroom, trying not to shake too hard.

She took a hard gulp and turned to face the class of tired eyes. Her clothes felt as if they were see through and her lungs seemed to stop working. Before she could even open her mouth Yachi knew it was gonna be a train wreck.

"You may begin."

"A defining moment in my life," Yachi began, her voice shaky," A defining moment- it was um-" she could see the teacher mark down on her piece of paper already and everything seemed to begin to turn black," In my last year of high school, I um,"Another mark," I decided to not live a lie anymore-wait no-" Another mark, less air," I came-I um," Another mark.

Yachi couldn't breath any more. Her body itched and burned with heat as she stood there. Everyone's eyes were still drawn ro her, picking apart every piece of her. She clenched her jaw as she tried to keep from trembling so hard.

She couldn’t take it anymore. It felt like death was creeping up on her. And with a quick apology to her professor Yachi ran out of the room, grabbing her bag on the way out. She let out a jagged sob once the door shut behind her. And she hardly remembered walking to the bathroom until she arrived.

Yachi walked into the nearest stall, throwing her bag down on the floor. She took out her phone, heaving in short breaths. Through tear filled eyes she pulled out her phone and saw a voice-mail from her mom. And with shaky hands, she pressed play, putting the phone to her ear.

"Hitoka I heard you had a big speech today. Just calling to make sure it went well. I gotta get back to the office, I'll talk to you later."

It ended with a beep and Yachi let her hand drop from her face. Everything came crashing down in a wave of breathlessness and tears. And there was no stopping it.

A couple of minutes had gone by and Yachi was able to gain her surroundings back. With a few sniffles she pulled up her phone again and dialed Hinata’s number. He picked up after a few rings.

"Hey, what's up?" Hinata asked.

"My speech…" 

"Is everything alright? Wait, did you have a panic attack??!!" Hinata exclaimed. 

"No its fine I’m-"

"I'm tied up at work right now but I'll tell Kageyama to come pick you up if you want." He offered.

"No!" Yachi exclaimed,"It's fine now. I'll talk to you later."

"Yachi-"

Yachi hung up and slipped her phone into her pocket, standing up. She picked her bag up and made her way out of the stall. She was still trembling slightly as she studied herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red and bloodshot and her skin looked pale. She wetted a paper towel and wiped her eyes, cleaning the smudged makeup off her skin.

The whole thing was frustrating. She felt so weak, having to call Hinata and only make him worry more. She was overreacting anyways, she thought, regular people could give speeches. But Yachi just couldn't, public speaking was not safe for her. It always ended badly.

She couldn't waste her whole day in the bathroom. Though, as much as she dreaded going back out into the real world she knew she had to. So she checked the time, shook it off, and headed towards her next class feeling exhausted and defeated.

Yamaguchi was lying on their bed when Yachi walked into the dorm. The freckled person looked up at Yachi with a grin, setting their phone down on their chest.

"Hey there." Yamaguchi greeted.

"Hey." Yachi moaned, closing the door and making her way to her bed. She flopped down dramatically. 

"I take it the speech went well." Yamaguchi hummed, turning to look at Yachi.

"So fun I spent it all in the bathroom!" Yachi mused, her voice muffled by her blankets. 

"I'm sorry."

"Oh, it's alright. Now I'm just worried about how it'll affect my grade. I already have a B minus." She groaned. 

"I'm sure if you just explain it to the professor she'll understand." Yamaguchi reassured her.

"I don't even wanna think about asking her for a redo!" Yachi wailed in reply.

"I know what’ll cheer you up…” Yamaguchi hummed.

“Is it death? That sounds pretty good right now.”

“No!” Yamaguchi cried out,”It’s the ice cream from that convenience store you like down the road!”

“I just had ice cream yesterday.” Yachi groaned, kicking her legs back and forth, debating whether or not she was in the mood to eat ice cream for the second night in a row. 

“Fine, I want ice cream.” Yamaguchi told her, getting out of bed. They walked over to Yachi and grabbed her ankles, slowly pulling her off her bed. Yachi groaned the whole way to the floor and twisted around to look up at the freckled bastard.

“You're paying.” Yachi snapped, giving in to the temptation of Yamaguchi’s pleading eyes and her own craving for sweets. 

“Yes!” Yamaguchi exclaimed, deepening their voice and dropping Yachi’s legs. 

Yachi sighed, brushing her hair out of her face as Yamaguchi grabbed their wallet off the dresser, heading towards the door. She wasn’t necessarily in the mood but Yamaguchi was very persuasive when it came to adventures, similar to Hinata. And she figured they were happy as long as Tsukishima wasn’t making them watch Jurassic Park for the one hundredth time. 

The two roommates breathed in the cold fall air, their breath coming out in clouds of smoke. Yamaguchi and Yachi walked side by side, Yachi looking tiny compared to the freckled person as she did to almost everybody. Yamaguchi was going on about the newest hobby Tsukishima had taken up and made his whole apartment a mess from it. It was another dinosaur situation but Yachi could hardly listen, her mind wandering back to her speech. 

She was so close to delivering it. Even if it wasn’t perfect it would have still been a win just to announce that she was proud of who she was to even just twenty other people. But the story wasn’t the most fun to recount. If anything it just made her sad and angry. She had just been ignored by her mother upon her time of need. It wasn’t that surprising but Yachi had always figured the woman would have at least had some reaction to her daughter being a lesbian. Still, Yachi couldn’t hate her for it, she was her mother anyways. Even if she was cold and distant.

The two rounded a corner and Yachi could make out the small store in the distance. The sun was setting, creating an orange line and then darkness above at the horizon in front of them. The switch between day and night was Yachi’s favorite because the sky always looked like a piece of art somehow. And as she looked ahead she could see the familiar sign lights flicker on and a person walk into the door. The bell chimed in the distance and suddenly, she was in the mood for ice cream.


	4. Psych Eval

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a VERY short chapter but it leads to something...

The bell of the convenience store door chimed as Kiyoko pulled the handle. She made her way into the store, letting the door close shut behind her. The smell of cigarettes and fried food burned into her nose, bringing back all the nights she had crawled into this very store. One particular memory came to mind from last year when her and Suga had wandered in drunkenly and Ukai ended up driving them home. It didn’t take long for Kiyoko to realize Ukai and Takeda were married and she made Ukai promise not to tell Takeda about that night. It wasn’t often she allowed herself to have a slip up like that, but Suga would be the one to help her into it.

Ever since grade school her and Suga had been conjoined at the hip. They had thrown plenty of fits to their parents that they were practically able to live with each other with no complaints about them being the opposite gender. Kiyoko enjoyed the nights Suga would come over with no warning and he’d punch her in the gut if she ever had a negative comment about herself. 

It hadn’t taken Kiyoko long to accept Daichi into her life when he and Suga started dating. She could feel his kindness just with his reassuring smile, and it was nice to have someone that could handle Suga’s chaotic kindness along with her. But it took forever for Suga to do the same with Tanaka. Months went by and Suga would still give Tanaka the side eye at any dinners or parties. Though Kiyoko understood his protectiveness she wished he would have grown up sooner. But now his liking for Tanaka had gone as far as letting him sleep on his couch, which didn’t help Kiyoko much now. 

“Hey kiddo!” Ukai greeted, looking up from his magazine. He put out his cigarette, huffing out one last breath of smoke. 

“Hey.” Kiyoko greeted, pulling her hood down and forcing a smile. She was exhausted from the walk already and regretted leaving so close to nightfall. 

“What’s up?” Ukai asked, taking his feet off his counter to look up at Kiyoko as she approached him. 

“Not much, just wanted a snack.” She told the older man.

“New glasses?” Ukai remarked, smirking and meeting Kiyoko’s eyes.

Kiyoko readjusted her frames and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear,”Yeah, got them a few weeks ago. Thanks for noticing.” She said, genuinely smiling at this point. 

“Keep lookin sharp.” Ukai told her before turning back to his magazine. 

Kiyoko nodded and headed towards the back. The hum of the freezer filled her ears and her sneakers scuffed the linoleum floors beneath her. She caught glimpses of her reflection in the freezer doors as she made her way towards the ice cream. It wasn’t until she felt her phone buzz did she stop.

She pulled her phone out, turning it on to see an email. It took only a few taps and she opened the new email from her therapist. It only took a few words for her to piece together what it was about.

I have some news...I’ve been looking over some stuff....I can confirm...PTSD...I have some ideas about what to do moving forward…

It was as she thought. Just even more confirmation about what Kiyoko had known for so long. Even with the meds she was on at the moment there was always something off. She had maybe found the missing puzzle piece to herself, but it didn’t seem that way. No, she had always known. It was too obvious, even her clinic doctor knew just from her naming off her symptoms. 

Kiyoko looked up from her phone, taking a hard swallow. And as she pocketed her phone she saw a head full of bright blonde hair standing behind her. She prepared herself and turned to the person with a smile. 

“Sorry I’m in your way.” She told the blonde girl with wide eyes, forcing a smile.


	5. Linoleum Floors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm publishing this chapter a few days early because I'll be really busy this weekend. Next chapter will probably be published next Saturday. Thanks so much for reading, bye!

It was all Yachi could do to grab her chest, her heart skipping a beat. She stared up at the beautiful girl, her knees starting to shake. The girl-no- young woman smiled down upon Yachi, radiating an angelic presence. 

Her long black hair fell down her shoulders, curling slightly at the ends. Her glasses reflected off the bright artificial lights above but Yachi could see the fluorescent blue iris’s the lady possessed. Her lips were soft and rosy looking and pulled up to flash her shiny white teeth. And even through the baggy sweatpants she wore Yachi could tell how long her legs were.

Never had Yachi fully believed in love at first sight. But meeting this gorgeous stranger was testing everything she had ever known. She was even unsure whether or not she was awake.

“Sorry I’m in your way.” The raven haired girl said, her voice light and airy. Yachi tried to keep from swooning.

“I-I- No I'm- Your- your perfect- I mean perfectly fine- I- I just-” Yachi stammered out, her eyes darting anywhere but the older girl. 

“Are you getting ice cream?” The young woman asked, adjusting her glasses. 

Yachi could only nod.

“What kind, I’ll grab it for you.” 

“Um, strawberry.” Yachi mumured, her eyes glued to the linoleum floor, studying the dirty white tiles. 

She heard the door open and the sound of the freezer increase and saw the woman’s legs move around the freezer door. Yachi studied the stranger’s shoes, looking at the purple streaks and matching laces they adorned. She couldn’t help but think about the shoes left in the doorway of a house the two would own together. Snap out of it Yachi, she screamed at herself. She didn’t even know the girl’s name and she was always imagining a future with her. 

The door swung shut and Yachi forced herself to look up. The older girl extended a hand towards her, holding a pint of strawberry ice cream.

“Strawberries my favorite too.” She smiled down at Yachi, almost killing the girl,” Have we met before?”

“No- no, I’m Yachi Hitoka!” Yachi exclaimed, gingerly taking the ice cream, scared she might harm the other girl somehow if she took it too quickly. 

“I’m Kiyoko Shimizu, nice to meet you.” The black haired girl told Yachi,” I’ll see you around, Yachi.”

And with that, Kiyoko walked away, turning down an aisle and disappearing. Yachi was left standing in front of the ice cream, frozen in place. Her mouth still hung open, her mind still imagining Kiyoko standing right in front of her. The whole thing had felt unreal.

“Hey, did you get- what are you doing?” Yamaguchi questioned, walking up to Yachi with a pack of Sour Patch Kids. Yachi did not reply, her mind still elsewhere,” Hello! Earth to Yachi!”

“Hm?”

“What are you do-”

“I just met a literal angel!” Yachi exclaimed, trying to keep her voice low enough but failing. 

“Are you hallucinating or something?” Yamaguchi questioned.

“Maybe!” Yachi giggled,” She’s up at the front!”

She watched as Yamaguchi shuffled to an aisle opening and looked up at the front counter. Yachi joined him, staring at Kiyoko from a distance. As she turned to leave she sucked in a breath, reveling in the girl’s beauty once more. Once Kiyoko was out of view she turned to Yamaguchi expectantly. 

“Yeah she is really pretty.” They murmured, turning to Yachi. 

“She’s gorgeous! A literal goddess!” Yachi exclaimed. 

“Then go ask for her number.” Yamaguchi told her with a sly grin. 

“What?!”

“Go ask her out, right now.”

“You're crazy.”

“Chicken.” Yamaguchi mused, starting to walk towards the counter. 

“I-I am not a chicken!” Yachi argued.

“Bak-bak!” Yamaguchi retorted, snickering to themself. 

Yachi seethed as they approached the counter. She set the ice cream down to be scanned, glancing past Yamaguchi to look outside through the door. She could see the outline of Kiyoko fade from view, walking into the darkness alone. She was tempted to go running after her but she knew deep down there was no point. Yachi was too much of a nervous wreck and Kiyoko surely wasn’t single with those looks. She probably didn’t even like girls. 

It had been over a week and Yachi’s mind would still wander back to the convenience store girl. Kiyoko seemed to be in everything when it came to Yachi’s gaze. Anytime she saw a pair of glasses- Kiyoko. Any black birds flying around- Kiyoko’s long luscious hair. Sunsets? Boom, Kiyoko’s radiant presence. And it was leading to some problems.

Yachi had trouble paying attention to anything going on. Her friends would talk but she’d soon space out. Her teachers lectured but her notes were halfway done, usually too vague to decipher. And she had been avoiding her speech professor at all costs. She saw her incomplete marked in her grade-book online, wondering when it would be replaced by a very small percentage of what she barely accomplished before bolting out of the room. It was only a matter of time and she couldn’t keep ignoring the emails piling up either. But it was all much easier to daydream about Kiyoko and the made up future Yachi had created for herself. 

They would live in a small cottage with a cat or two. And have picnics on the weekends and grow old together. A perfect life in love.

“Yachi!”

Yachi snapped out of her most recent delusion, looking over at Kageyama who sat across the table from her, glaring daggers her way. She was used to his intense stare by now and drew her attention back to the board game in front of them. It was her turn. She reached out and spun the dial, landing on number four. She moved her piece past the spaces, landing on the marriage stop.

“Pay up!” Tsukishima exclaimed, shoving his hand out towards Yachi.

“What?!” Yachi yelped, looking around in shock.

“You landed on my number so pay up, 20k!” Tsukishima told her, making a grabbing motion with his fingers.

“I thought that was Monopoly. We're playing Life.” Yachi argued, still confused. 

“Idiot, do I have to explain the rules again?!” Tsukishima sighed.

“Fine.” Yachi snapped, grabbing her fake dollar bills and handing them over. 

“Kageyama, get Yachi one of those pink pegg thingies.” Hinata murmured over to the raven haired boy.

“The bag’s too small, you do it with your baby hands.” Kageyma told the ginger, shoving the bag of pink and blue peg people into Hinata’s chest.

“Fine, but you're the baby.” Hinata retorted, fishing out a pink peg and placing it next to Yachi’s in her plastic car. 

“Least I don’t look like one!” Kageyama snapped back, crossing his arms. 

“Must you fight constantly? It’s literally just a board game.” Tsukishima said, exasperated. 

“Tsuki’s right, we can’t do anything without you two arguing.” Yamaguchi murmured, spinning the wheel himself.

“Well, if Hinata wasn’t such a dumbass and called me gorilla hands all the time!” Kageyama grumbled to himself as Tsukishima spun the wheel.

“You always make fun of how short I am!” Hinata cried back, leaning towards his setter.

“It’s gorilla hand’s turn.” Tsukishima murmured, smirking to himself. 

Yachi froze in her seat, awaiting the outburst. She watched as Yamaguchi let out a snide laugh, quickly covering his mouth. And everyone watched as Kageyama’s temper slowly rose to the top. His face turned red and the table was soon flipped. Game night was over before an hour had passed.

After Kageyama’s tantrum against Tsukishima and a bit of Hinata and Yamaguchi holding back their respective boyfriends the apartment had settled. Kageyma and Hinata found their spots on the couch together, Hinata’s small body sprawled across, his feet draped over Kageyama who brushed them away every few seconds. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi had volunteered to clean the kitchen, mostly looking for a way to separate themselves from a still seething Kageyama. 

Yachi sat in a chair in the corner of the room, scrolling on her phone. She was used to the occasional fight and brawl among the boys. It was especially common between Tsukishima and Kageyama, even a complete stranger could pick up on their temper towards each other. But it was every now and then when the couples fought that scared her. 

Though she couldn’t say she was too worried about Yamaguchi and Tsukishima being that whenever Yamaguchi yelled at him, Tsukishima only ended up smiling. She sometimes wondered if it meant something but she tried to not think too hard about it.

It was mostly Hinata and Kageyama’s fights that ended the worst. Sure they always bickered and competed. But Yachi remembered one actual fight they had the first week of knowing each other. It was about volleyball, nonetheless, and she was there to witness the whole thing. Daichi, the team captain, ended up having to separate the two and they didn’t speak for two weeks. It wasn’t long after that they started dating, which surprised a lot of people. So Yachi was always worried something like it would happen again and their apartment would be sent up in flames. She was sure she was exaggerating, but it was a serious fear of her’s. 

“Did Noya text you at all?” Hinata asked Kageyama, stretching and re-draping his feet on his boyfriend’s lap.

“No, why?” Kageyama asked, moving Hinata’s feet further away from him again.

“He’s having a birthday party next saturday.” Hinata said.

“Okay, and?” Kageyama questioned, moving Hinata’s feet again.

“Do you wanna go?” Hinata asked, laying his phone on his chest,” I have work off that day.”

“I don’t know…” Kageyama murmured,” I’ll go if you do I guess.”

“Yachi?” Hinata called across the room. Yachi looked up, meeting his eyes,” You going? It’s gonna be totally awesome..”

“I don’t know...you know parties aren’t really my thing…” Yachi chuckled. 

“Pllleaassee…” Hinata pleaded, putting his hands together.

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt, but I can’t stay for long cause I need to study.” Yachi gave in.

“Yes! This is gonna be awesome!” Hinata exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.

Just then Tsukishima and Yamaguchi made their way into the living room. Hinata sat up on the edge of the couch excitedly, almost kicking Kageyama in the face. 

“Tsuki, Yams, are you gonna go?!” Hinata questioned. 

“I have work, and I don’t like people. Especially drunk idiots.” Tsukishima sneered.

“Sorry, I’m dog sitting for a friend that day.” Yamaguchi told the ginger, smiling sheepishly. 

“Bummer.” Hinata huffed, stretching back out on the couch. His feet were folded once again in Kageyama’s lap. 

Another week had passed and Kiyoko was no longer as prevalent in Yachi’s mind as she had been. Life had returned to normal but Yachi still avoided the emails from her speech professor and debated how she should face the issue. It was a little late to try and ask for a redo, and asking for extra credit would be like salt in the wound for Yachi. But her grade was falling and she needed to do something.

She decided that Noya’s party would be a good destraction from it all though. Yachi waited outside the dorms for Kageyama and Hinata to pick her up. It was a little cold, the wind blowing the orange leaves around on the ground and rustling the tree branches. Yachi had thrown on a pair of jeans and a sweater, having thought too much about her outfit and ending up going with the safe choice. She had no idea who else would be at the party. Noya tended to make a lot of friends easily and welcomed them with open arms into his life. She had already planned out that she would most likely end up sitting aside with Kageyama if things got too hectic.

One thing she had grown to love about the grumpy setter was his inept social skills. Kageyama was kind at heart but at the emotional intelligence of a three year old. Meaning he would get easily overwhelmed and preferred to watch things happen, usually finding the pet of the house owner. Yachi usually ended up joining him, drained herself from the extroverts, and the two would sit in silence until Hinata was ready to leave. Which could mean hours or until they dragged him out as the sun rose. 

Yachi watched as Kageyama’s blue car pulled up to the curb. She opened the door and climbed in. Kageyema started driving again before a greeting while Hinata turned in his seat, beaming at Yachi. 

“You look great!” Hinata exclaimed.

“Thanks, you too.” Yachi replied, smiling back at her ginger haired friend. 

“I’m so excited, it’s been forever since we’ve gone to a party!” Hinata sighed, turning back to face forward in his seat. 

“It’s only been two months.” Kageyama told him, deadpan. 

“It’s been longer than that!” Hinata grumbled, rolling his eyes. 

Kageyama just sighed and the car fell silent. Luckily, Hinata turned on the radio to a pop tune that Yachi had never heard before. She was just grateful they weren’t going to drive in silence; it always led to her over thinking. For now she could just focus on the song and mull over it’s lyrics. 

It didn’t take them long to reach Asahi and Noya’s place. The couple had started renting out a small house a year ago and they often held get-togethers-much to Asahi’s anxiety when people came and messed up his house. There were cars parked outside, filling the driveway and spilling out onto the street. Maybe ten in total. 

Yachi remembered the first time she met Noya and Asahi. Both were on the volleyball team with Hinata and Kageyama. Yachi had a different reaction upon meeting each of them. While it didn’t take her long to warm up to Noya’s energy she was terrified of Asahi for the longest time. He was large and terrifying, his face resting into a natural grimace if he wasn’t thinking about it. But after a while Yachi found herself drawing towards Asahi when in need of comfort. He was the soft personality everyone needed every now and then, and he was just as anxious as Yachi most days. 

Kageyama parked the car on the side of the street and the group got out. Yachi had grabbed the sushi platter Hinata and Kageyama had brought from the backseat before heading towards the house. It wasn’t much to look at, only a one story house with white siding and a bright red door. The yard was scattered with dead leaves and the flower bushes lining the house were trimmed neatly by most likely Asahi. As Yachi approached the door with her friends she could make out the tiny rainbow flag hanging from the door that was usually there, courtesy of Nishinoya. The couples whole thing was throwing parties only for the fellow queers. And they always followed through. 

Hinata didn’t even bother to knock, opening the door and calling out in excitement. Kageyama and Yachi followed in behind, Kageyama closing the door. The two watched as Hinata quickly kicked off his shoes and rushed into the house, greeted by excited people. Yachi and Kageyama took their time taking their shoes off, passing the sushi platter around to free their hands. They both then shuffled into the kitchen where everyone seemed to be.

The smell of booze and lavender hit Yachi’s nose. And the origin of the smell was the mountain of bottles bundled in the middle of the kitchen island and the air freshener plug put into the wall. The room was filled with people, some faces Yachi recognized, others she didn’t. It didn’t take long for her to see Daichi and his silver haired boyfriend, or Asahi and Noya. Asahi was talking to someone, blocking Yachi’s view of them.

It was then that she felt a hand wrap around her wrist and looked over to see Noya. He grinned at her, his face slightly pink from drinking. Yachi smiled back, feeling his sweaty hand grip her wrist tighter in excitement. 

“It’s my birthday!” Noya exclaimed,'' Get up here Yachi!” And with that, Noya started to climb on top of the kitchen table, bonking his head on the over hanging light. Before Yachi could protest she was dragged untop of the table with Noya, terrified that she might fall down.

“Hey, everybody!” Noya shouted, making all the eyes turn to him,”This is my friend Yachi and I’m drunk already!” He cheered, punching him and Yachi’s hands into the air, whacking the light above. 

It was at this point that Asahi quickly made his way over to the table. And Yachi saw the familiar glasses and raven haired girl. Kiyoko quickly followed Asahi, making their way to the table.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone thanks so much for reading. This is my first fic on here so I hope it isn't too bad. Just an fyi that the POV's will be switching in between Kiyoko and Yachi every chapter. Hope you all like it and I'll try to update soon. Bye!
> 
> P.S. I made a Spotify playlist for this work. Feel free to listen along and comment any song suggestions for me to add. Thanks!
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3tnWBV2ECWOzG2gM3NxOF4?si=d4ba9202529c45df


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